It's disgusting on so many levels. It's a physical manifestation of the lowering of standards in this youth culture of ours. Imagine, young people aspiring to look like people in prison. As Chris Rock once said: "You're not supposed to go to jail." It's not a badge of honor! But you can't tell young folks that these days. So now they shuffle around holding up their pants with one hand because it's just so "stylish." You're supposed to wear a belt. Every time I see some kid with his pants down so low that he can hardly ambulate it calls to mind those old-time convict chain gangs. I've called the new style of walking "the shackle shuffle." It's good practice for when they end up in prison. Prison giveth and prison taketh!
Gnarled Beauty
©2007. all rights reserved
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Shackle Shuffle
You've seen them! The young men walking around with their pants down to their knees and their drawers showing. It's a style that comes to us courtesy of the prison-yard culture where belts are not allowed (well at least that's what I've heard) and so the pants hang low, low, low.
Well, Excuuuuuse Me!
Hold on while I turn on the eyes in the back of my head*. I know you are standing there behind me, in the supermarket aisle or the airplane aisle. I can sense you next to me at the counter, or in the store trying to get to something, but I am blocking you.
You stand there and stand there! I can sense your ire rising, or your frustration. You say nothing. You run a bunch of scenarios in your head starring me as an inconsiderate bozo!
Well guess what? You need to use your words, you know, those three simple words that make the world go around! PLEASE EXCUSE ME, or alternately, EXCUSE ME PLEASE. When you do, I will gladly give you pass! It will not upset me that you need to get by and have politely asked me to move. It is what I expect you to do.
Instead what I have been noticing more and more is that people stand behind me, huffing and puffing and hoping that I will turn and say "I'm sorry" to them for blocking the path. No! It doesn't work like that. I don't know if you are busy back there behind me doing whatever it is you are doing. I am not going to assume you need to get by unless you make it known that you need to get by. Simple as that. Use your bloody words.
You stand there and stand there! I can sense your ire rising, or your frustration. You say nothing. You run a bunch of scenarios in your head starring me as an inconsiderate bozo!
Well guess what? You need to use your words, you know, those three simple words that make the world go around! PLEASE EXCUSE ME, or alternately, EXCUSE ME PLEASE. When you do, I will gladly give you pass! It will not upset me that you need to get by and have politely asked me to move. It is what I expect you to do.
Instead what I have been noticing more and more is that people stand behind me, huffing and puffing and hoping that I will turn and say "I'm sorry" to them for blocking the path. No! It doesn't work like that. I don't know if you are busy back there behind me doing whatever it is you are doing. I am not going to assume you need to get by unless you make it known that you need to get by. Simple as that. Use your bloody words.
(*thanks Gillian)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
'Twixt the Lip and the Cup
I love a nice tall glass of iced tea brimming with ice. Unfortunately my most recent glass full was not so delightful because of the ice--crescent shaped ice from my friend's fancy SubZero fridge. This particular shape of ice is ideally shaped to form a dam between the lip and the liquid. The ice is the perfect shape to get stuck up against the lip, making it a chore to have to suck the liquid from around the ice. There's no problem when the ice is vertically oriented in the glass, but again the shape of it seems to lend itself to a horizontal orientation.
I wonder if the people at SubZero know about this problem?
What was wrong with the original shape of ice cubes? Which design consultant came up with the idea that ice crescents were more pleasing? My guess is that it was someone who doesn't enjoy ice.
I wonder if the people at SubZero know about this problem?
What was wrong with the original shape of ice cubes? Which design consultant came up with the idea that ice crescents were more pleasing? My guess is that it was someone who doesn't enjoy ice.
Monday, January 19, 2009
The OBAMA EFFECT- TV BLACK OUT
Have you EVER seen this many black people on TV? Chalk it up to the Obama Effect--all of sudden TV producers who, heretofore, have never been able to find an articulate colored person to comment on TV, are somehow able to dig up a bunch of new black faces to comment on anything and everything these past few days. Imagine that. Wonder what happens post inaugruation? This might be the salad days for blacks on TV. They may bring back the Jeffersons or the Cosby show. Maybe now black shows won't be cancelled precipitously and will get the two hour finale specials reserved for other network shows.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Regret, Thy Name is Blizzard
You were so cold and inviting and cheap. An ephemeral treat to slake a nagging longing. But like an uninvited guest, you keep hanging around. Belch belch belch
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Robo Toilets
Not so long ago, going to the public toilet was a relatively easy exercise, long lines (women's rooms), filth and dread notwithstanding. Sure it took a bit of maneuvering to get into the narrow stalls without making too much contact with any surface that might transfer some icky germs to our person. For most women, we'd gotten it down to a bit of science, especially if we were toting along luggage or shopping bags, or, god forbid, kids.
If anyone had consulted with women, I am sure their biggest three suggestions for improvements to public restrooms would have been: a) bigger stalls; b) copius bag shelf/coat hooks; c) foot controls.
Not so recent improvements in public toilets, save for in a few upscale places don't seem to include any of these common-sense, practical upgrades. Instead what women have gotten, likely from men designers/engineers is, automation. Yes ladies, someone out there didn't think you could do it manually!
Self flushing toilets. Taps that turn on with a wave of a hand. Self-squirting soap pumps. Towel dispensers that feed out the right sized sheet at flash of a palm. All wonderful future-now mod-cons! Yippee! Well, not so fast. Certainly all that automation would be fine if they worked as promised 100% of the time. But I am sure you've been in the bathroom at the airport watching some hapless woman waving like a lunatic at the tap, or worse yet, pressing and pushing to no avail. Perhaps that lunatic trying to brush her teeth after a gnarly flight was you?!
Call me a Luddite, but I really do not think that toilets needed this kind of futuristic mod-con upgrade. First of all, what if the power goes out? Do all these places have backup generators that are connected to the toilets.
Sure I hate to enter a stall where the previous user has left an unsightly unflushed deposit (of any number). I am guessing that the drive to automate the toilets especially, comes from a drive to make bathrooms more sanitary. Whatever the reasoning--whether it's sanitation concerns or just moving along with the technology of the times, I say, "Bah, humbug."
My experience with these automated toilets has been an exercise in frustration. Why? I don't like being flushed upon in midstream. The problem with all these toilets is that the sensors are either too sensitive or they are not sensitive enough.
I have a rather time-consuming routine when I use a public WC. These are the steps.
1. Wad up tp and wipe the seat.
2. Spread 2 strips of TP on each side of the seat. (doubled up if no #3)
3. Spread a toilet seat cover (when available) over the TP on the seat
4. Sit. Deposit.
My routine was breezy with the old fashioned manual toilets.
Now with the robo-toilet, my life is a terrifying tangled tp tango.
The trouble when the toilet flush sensors are overly sensitive, halfway through my routine, the blasted toilet flushes, splashing up droplets to the seat, sucking down my protective tp or my seat cover. That's a pain in the ass, then there's the water in the ass when, just as you sit on your little safety next about to do the business, the sensor says, "Sorry I think you've been in here a while so I better just flush." I really don't like springing up like a march hare in the middle of my deposit.
Now let's say the sensor isn't as sensitive as it should be. You've made a deposit of a more solid type and you want the toilet to flush...or even say you've only made a liquid deposit and you've stood and zipped and ready to depart. You turn and stare or even move about a bit, but still no flush. There's a line out there, backed up into the mall or the terminal or the movie theater--wherever and still no flush. You wave your hand frantically over the little dark patch with the mysterious red light. You look around for the manual override button--not always well placed--and now your face is right over the fountain of germs, ready to push when finally the thing decides to do what it ought to do! There you go again having to spring up like springbok!
It's all very disconcerting. I don't like it one bit.
Now you are out trying to wash your hand and you can't get a flow going, the water temperature is right out of Goldilocks and the three bears--too hot, too cold and not just right. There's soap dispenser but you can't tell where the spigot is so it squirts on the counter. You are now Zero for Three. At least you can get a bit of paper now! Right? Wrong! Well maybe not all wrong. I do hate the manual paper dispensers that are so tightly packed that when you pull on a sheet all you get is that damp broken off corner. So in some ways, I think the paper dispenser is the best addition, though I would argue that the dispensers that had the elbow bar, allowing women to use their elbows to crank the feed was genius. Low tech and effective--just like the toilet with the simple handle--one placed on the floor so you can use your foot to flush. That and a bigger stall is all we ever asked for!
P.s. The only thing I really like is the new DYSON air blade. Now that's a great hand drying device. No more endless brisk rubbing!
If anyone had consulted with women, I am sure their biggest three suggestions for improvements to public restrooms would have been: a) bigger stalls; b) copius bag shelf/coat hooks; c) foot controls.
Not so recent improvements in public toilets, save for in a few upscale places don't seem to include any of these common-sense, practical upgrades. Instead what women have gotten, likely from men designers/engineers is, automation. Yes ladies, someone out there didn't think you could do it manually!
Self flushing toilets. Taps that turn on with a wave of a hand. Self-squirting soap pumps. Towel dispensers that feed out the right sized sheet at flash of a palm. All wonderful future-now mod-cons! Yippee! Well, not so fast. Certainly all that automation would be fine if they worked as promised 100% of the time. But I am sure you've been in the bathroom at the airport watching some hapless woman waving like a lunatic at the tap, or worse yet, pressing and pushing to no avail. Perhaps that lunatic trying to brush her teeth after a gnarly flight was you?!
Call me a Luddite, but I really do not think that toilets needed this kind of futuristic mod-con upgrade. First of all, what if the power goes out? Do all these places have backup generators that are connected to the toilets.
Sure I hate to enter a stall where the previous user has left an unsightly unflushed deposit (of any number). I am guessing that the drive to automate the toilets especially, comes from a drive to make bathrooms more sanitary. Whatever the reasoning--whether it's sanitation concerns or just moving along with the technology of the times, I say, "Bah, humbug."
My experience with these automated toilets has been an exercise in frustration. Why? I don't like being flushed upon in midstream. The problem with all these toilets is that the sensors are either too sensitive or they are not sensitive enough.
I have a rather time-consuming routine when I use a public WC. These are the steps.
1. Wad up tp and wipe the seat.
2. Spread 2 strips of TP on each side of the seat. (doubled up if no #3)
3. Spread a toilet seat cover (when available) over the TP on the seat
4. Sit. Deposit.
My routine was breezy with the old fashioned manual toilets.
Now with the robo-toilet, my life is a terrifying tangled tp tango.
The trouble when the toilet flush sensors are overly sensitive, halfway through my routine, the blasted toilet flushes, splashing up droplets to the seat, sucking down my protective tp or my seat cover. That's a pain in the ass, then there's the water in the ass when, just as you sit on your little safety next about to do the business, the sensor says, "Sorry I think you've been in here a while so I better just flush." I really don't like springing up like a march hare in the middle of my deposit.
Now let's say the sensor isn't as sensitive as it should be. You've made a deposit of a more solid type and you want the toilet to flush...or even say you've only made a liquid deposit and you've stood and zipped and ready to depart. You turn and stare or even move about a bit, but still no flush. There's a line out there, backed up into the mall or the terminal or the movie theater--wherever and still no flush. You wave your hand frantically over the little dark patch with the mysterious red light. You look around for the manual override button--not always well placed--and now your face is right over the fountain of germs, ready to push when finally the thing decides to do what it ought to do! There you go again having to spring up like springbok!
It's all very disconcerting. I don't like it one bit.
Now you are out trying to wash your hand and you can't get a flow going, the water temperature is right out of Goldilocks and the three bears--too hot, too cold and not just right. There's soap dispenser but you can't tell where the spigot is so it squirts on the counter. You are now Zero for Three. At least you can get a bit of paper now! Right? Wrong! Well maybe not all wrong. I do hate the manual paper dispensers that are so tightly packed that when you pull on a sheet all you get is that damp broken off corner. So in some ways, I think the paper dispenser is the best addition, though I would argue that the dispensers that had the elbow bar, allowing women to use their elbows to crank the feed was genius. Low tech and effective--just like the toilet with the simple handle--one placed on the floor so you can use your foot to flush. That and a bigger stall is all we ever asked for!
P.s. The only thing I really like is the new DYSON air blade. Now that's a great hand drying device. No more endless brisk rubbing!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Bristol's Baby Mama Drama
I am tired of hearing about how extraordinary Sarah Palin is that she embraced her pregnant teen daughter and that she kept her child with down syndrome. Many thousands of Americans do that every day and don't get any extra credit. The beauty of CHOICE is that you should be able to make decisions that work for you and NOT have the government LEGISLATE how you make those intensely PERSONAL decisions. Neither Bristol or Sarah get extra credit for not having abortions because frankly that is what a VAST Majority of Americans do--they keep their babies. Of course the RABID ANTI-CHOICE people would want you to think that the rate of abortion is a crisis. That's just to help hype their propaganda and push their platform of government interference in private lives. It's funny how many of these same folks get riled up if the gov't wants to regulate their guns yet feel it's fine to tell a woman what to do with her body! GOD RELIGION AND SEX should be kept bedind closed doors.
Frankly what concerns me about SP's selection is the reality of WHO and WHY she was selected. I am sure McCain had little to do with it. I am sure the right wing, Christiano-fascist movement were the people who vetted her. The wall separating church and state is being dismantled. That is what should be agitating Americans, not some teenager who slept around with condoms. I wonder what the reaction would have been if instead of getting a bun in the oven Bristol picked up HIV?
Frankly what concerns me about SP's selection is the reality of WHO and WHY she was selected. I am sure McCain had little to do with it. I am sure the right wing, Christiano-fascist movement were the people who vetted her. The wall separating church and state is being dismantled. That is what should be agitating Americans, not some teenager who slept around with condoms. I wonder what the reaction would have been if instead of getting a bun in the oven Bristol picked up HIV?
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