“My husband.” These are two very recent additions to my personal vocabulary. And oddly enough now, somewhat to my chagrin, I find myself actually liking the sound of it. Really liking the sound of it. I catch myself saying things like, “my husband" this and “my" husband that blah, blah, blah.
Prior to becoming a newlywed, I was always irked when I overheard other women saying “my husband” this or “my husband” that. The only thing I found more annoying was redundant name hyphenators. “Hi, I’m Mrs. Mary Smith-Johnson”.” Need I say more?
Somehow though, after the “I do” something unexpected happened to me. Understand that my husb, this is a man I have known for nearly 20 years. We dated for 10 years, lived together for four years. He’s the same man whom I am always asking to pick up his socks or take out the trash. He’s the man I wanted to marry, although not in the “hope chest- filling”, "white-gowned veiled girl invested in the pricey, accessory-laden idea of wedding day as the most perfect day in a life" way. I wanted a marriage, but not a “wedding” wedding.
Since I was the un-bride, I thought I could be the un-wife. My response to questions of “how’s married life?” has been nonchalant. I tell people the only difference is now I can say “Husband, pick up your socks.” Indeed, for the most part, life is the same, but there is something different. I like to accord him his new title. And when he says “my wife” it makes me smile inside. It’s a promotion of sorts. As "wife and husband", we now have new social positions even in this post modern society where marriage has been reduced to a personal contract rather than a vital part of the social fabric. Inside me there still lives a cynical, sarcastic, independent urban creature who cringes at the thought that by relishing being married, I have bought into staid middle class values. But inside me is a woman who is proud and happy to be "wife."
©2007. all rights reserved
Gnarled Beauty
©2007. all rights reserved
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Left turns on the Left Coast
Why I hate making left turns in Los Angeles:
1. There are not enough left turn arrow signals.
2. In all but a few locations where there are left turn arrow signals, the light only stays green long enough to let two or three cars through
3. Invariably, left turners keep packing into the short turn lane, blocking the thru traffic and causing unnecessary delays for people behind them. Isn't it way faster to just go thru the intersection, pull a "u-ey" and turn right instead of waiting for the interminable light?
4. Even when you do get the green arrow to turn left, two or three cars trying to turn left from the other direction who had missed their green arrow, use up precious seconds of your already short light, thus causing you to miss the light and have to encroach on the green arrow of the other intersection. It's an endless cycle, like the previous run on sentence.
5. People who use their time at red lights searching for crap in their car or applying makeup. Red light time ought to be spent with one foot on the gas and the other on the brakes waiting for the opportunity to zip zip zip left! Don't doom me to another light cycle!
6. That particular driver (and it is with great restraint that I don' t say moron driver, as I am trying to keep my thoughts lofty and be a better human being than I currently am) who finds it necessary to traverse oh so very slowly and carefully across the intersection as they turn left. What? Do they think they are going to have a spontaneous roll over if they go faster than 25 miles an hour?
7. Drivers who don't advance enough into the intersection to allow more than one car to get through the light.
8. Pedestrians crossing against the light and drivers courteous enough to allow them to get through!!
9. Left turn signals that are separate from the main signals. Once the arrow goes red, you can't go, even if the straight ahead traffic light is green and there is no oncoming traffic.
10. Incorporated left turn arrows that allow turners to go once the oncoming lane is clear. This encourages drivers to keep going even after the main light is red. This in turns eats up time of the opposing left turners and straight ahead traffic.
11. That bloody moody left turn signal at turn from Sunset east to La Brea north that doesn't always turn green. It's all about hitting the right sweet spot at the intersection. Too far in or too far back and Aaargh !
12 Buses, trucks and the fool who has to immediately turn right (and slowly) into the starbucks at the corner. Hell-oooow. There are people trying to make a left turn here.
There's simply nothing favourable about left turns in this city. It's rather ironic that it's even called the left coast.
©2007. all rights reserved
1. There are not enough left turn arrow signals.
2. In all but a few locations where there are left turn arrow signals, the light only stays green long enough to let two or three cars through
3. Invariably, left turners keep packing into the short turn lane, blocking the thru traffic and causing unnecessary delays for people behind them. Isn't it way faster to just go thru the intersection, pull a "u-ey" and turn right instead of waiting for the interminable light?
4. Even when you do get the green arrow to turn left, two or three cars trying to turn left from the other direction who had missed their green arrow, use up precious seconds of your already short light, thus causing you to miss the light and have to encroach on the green arrow of the other intersection. It's an endless cycle, like the previous run on sentence.
5. People who use their time at red lights searching for crap in their car or applying makeup. Red light time ought to be spent with one foot on the gas and the other on the brakes waiting for the opportunity to zip zip zip left! Don't doom me to another light cycle!
6. That particular driver (and it is with great restraint that I don' t say moron driver, as I am trying to keep my thoughts lofty and be a better human being than I currently am) who finds it necessary to traverse oh so very slowly and carefully across the intersection as they turn left. What? Do they think they are going to have a spontaneous roll over if they go faster than 25 miles an hour?
7. Drivers who don't advance enough into the intersection to allow more than one car to get through the light.
8. Pedestrians crossing against the light and drivers courteous enough to allow them to get through!!
9. Left turn signals that are separate from the main signals. Once the arrow goes red, you can't go, even if the straight ahead traffic light is green and there is no oncoming traffic.
10. Incorporated left turn arrows that allow turners to go once the oncoming lane is clear. This encourages drivers to keep going even after the main light is red. This in turns eats up time of the opposing left turners and straight ahead traffic.
11. That bloody moody left turn signal at turn from Sunset east to La Brea north that doesn't always turn green. It's all about hitting the right sweet spot at the intersection. Too far in or too far back and Aaargh !
12 Buses, trucks and the fool who has to immediately turn right (and slowly) into the starbucks at the corner. Hell-oooow. There are people trying to make a left turn here.
There's simply nothing favourable about left turns in this city. It's rather ironic that it's even called the left coast.
©2007. all rights reserved
Life in the Fast Lane
It’s not just that the traffic in LA is bad. It’s not just that there are mattresses, rakes, nails, bags of clothes and lumber cast about the freeway lanes. It’s not just that so many people are bad, discourteous drivers who don’t use their turn signals. It’s not just that this city and the freeways have really poor signage that leads one in circles. It’s not just that the roads are pitted and cracked and uneven. It’s a whole host of reasons that make the driving experience demoralizing and dehumanizing and soul killing. But the bane of my Los Angeles driving experience, is drivers who either refuse to or don’t know that they are obligated to get out of the way when I come barreling down behind them in the fast lane.
People, the fast lane serves a singular purpose—to allow people to pass other cars going more slowly. That means, if you see a car fast approaching you, get outta the lane. It's not a lane in which you are allowed to park yourselves, oblivious to the fact that I need to get by. It doesn't mean you get to stay in there to pass "one more car."
If I am close enough behind to your car to see your thoughtless reflection in your rear-view mirror, then you are not going fast enought and you need to change lanes. By all means feel free to slip in behind me so we can continue the do-si-do. It does not mean that you get to sit there and "punish" me for going too fast. That's what I imagine a lot of people do...in that very unique American way of doing things.
I liken the slow-down in the fast lane to the unacknowledged class struggle in this country. As long as we are all zipping along in the same boat, or climbing up the ladder, it's all hunky-dory. But the minute I want to pass you, move ahead, get by, then no more "mr. nice guy." People just don't want to let others get ahead. It's as if the guy ahead of me wants to punish me for having a bit more pep in my step. It's that all-American, thumb your nose at the big guy. It's part of our psychological makeup to like to see people climb to the top only to pull them down. (Okay. Perhaps that is a bit of a stretch.)
Listen up LA driver and fast lane hoggers: Take a page from the Europeans. Go right and get the **** out of the way!
©2007. all rights reserved
People, the fast lane serves a singular purpose—to allow people to pass other cars going more slowly. That means, if you see a car fast approaching you, get outta the lane. It's not a lane in which you are allowed to park yourselves, oblivious to the fact that I need to get by. It doesn't mean you get to stay in there to pass "one more car."
If I am close enough behind to your car to see your thoughtless reflection in your rear-view mirror, then you are not going fast enought and you need to change lanes. By all means feel free to slip in behind me so we can continue the do-si-do. It does not mean that you get to sit there and "punish" me for going too fast. That's what I imagine a lot of people do...in that very unique American way of doing things.
I liken the slow-down in the fast lane to the unacknowledged class struggle in this country. As long as we are all zipping along in the same boat, or climbing up the ladder, it's all hunky-dory. But the minute I want to pass you, move ahead, get by, then no more "mr. nice guy." People just don't want to let others get ahead. It's as if the guy ahead of me wants to punish me for having a bit more pep in my step. It's that all-American, thumb your nose at the big guy. It's part of our psychological makeup to like to see people climb to the top only to pull them down. (Okay. Perhaps that is a bit of a stretch.)
Listen up LA driver and fast lane hoggers: Take a page from the Europeans. Go right and get the **** out of the way!
©2007. all rights reserved
Ribbon Rage
Enough with the ribbons already. Back in the day, the red AIDS ribbon was a wonderful beacon for action during the dark times when diagnosis meant death. Sadly though, in a "post triple cocktail" era, the red ribbon has been hijacked and co-opted and quite simply done to death.
The folded ribbon as a symbol of anything meaningful or anything I should care about is DEAD. Whenever I see a pink ribbon for breast cancer, or a yellow one for troop support or a purple one for whatever the hell purple ones are for, well, I just don't even see them. How can I? I have been blined by the meaningless array of color ribbons plastered on every car, truck, bicycle, tricylcle, wagon, scooter and refrigerator thanks to the bloody magnet and bumper-sticker people. Have a cause? Have a thought? Get a ribbon. ugh!
Do we really need a patriotic flag ribbon proclaiming your home-country loyalty? Is a polka dotted ribbon for your annoying child's Montessori school fundraiser really necessary?( ...don't get me started on those self-congratulatory bumper stickers schools give out to parents to boast about their kids. Spare me your pride please!)
And while I am at it, how about we get rid of those ubiquitous rubber wristbands popularised by Lance Armstrong's worthy foundation? Unfortunately, that symbol died for me when movie marketers created green wristbands to promote their cinematic tour-de-force "Chicken Little".
Let's face it. We live in a consumer driven world where the successful marketing of a meaningful message invariably morphs into cheap "made in China tchotckhes" that get hawked at every corner so some guy can make a buck. Sure I'd like to be the next person to hit upon the next "red ribbon" or "yellow rubber bracelet" for some good cause, but to tell you the sad commercial truth, I probably want to be the guy with a factory in China, ready to churn out the multicolor counterfeits and rake in the dough.
©2007. all rights reserved
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)